So tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I have no qualms about it since its just gonna be me, my mom, my dad, my aunt, and my sister. My other super druggie cracked ADHD aunt won't be coming this year and I'm a little sad about that since I love her and her wacky self, but she made it hard for my mom to relax so I its a good thing she's not coming.

BUT my parents demand that I cook one dish.

I do not cook. No one wants me to cook.

But I do not want to go against them and their wishes, because well........that's just how I was raised. And I really should cook something to make it easier on them. I do mooch off of them all the time and never do anything.

So I have no idea what to make and knowing my parents no one will bother to help me or answer any of my questions. I can just imagine right now.

"Mom, what do I do with this?"

"I don't know. What do you do with it?"

----

"Okay what do I do next?"

"I don't know, what do you think you should do?"

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking."

"Well figure it out."

They better not blame me if they get food poisoning.

You know, its really sad that I'm not even upset with the fact that my grandma and only living grandparent told my mom she'd be coming down for my 18th birthday in May.

I'm 19 now, my birthday is in March, and its my sister's birthday in May and she's turning 28 next year.

I've been soo tired lately and I have no idea why. All I ever do is homework, go to school, play video games and fool around online. But this past week all I've wanted to do is sleep. Of course that's bad since I have an essay to do and I tend to ignore all my online friends and duties in the process. I even almost fell asleep in class last night.

My mom suggested that I might be depressed, but I don't think so. I mean, I think you'd know if you were. Especially since I went through a deep one for three years. But that was at least two years ago and most of the problems I had are fixed. So I figured its probably just the re-emergance of school. I spent all of Febuary to October with no school so I kinda got a little comfortable with that and now I'm being stuck writing essays about things I don't really care for. So I think I'm just a little stressed. Or it could be the whole going to class thing. It REALLY depressed me back in junior high and high school and I ended up ditching class all the time and pretty much failed everything. Then I switched to Learning Post which is sorta like home schooling 'cept it was just me going to a little class and sit in front of my teacher's desk for an hour doing tests while he corrects my homework once a week and then spend one night six days to do the homework.

It was easy and I got to procastinate and then proceed to kill myself during one night.

I was happy and I pretty much got B's and A's throughout.

Now I'm stuck doing the old routine. Go to school Monday through Thursday and try to cram working on any sort of homework in just two hours before. Because I'm too lazy and tired to work on it at night when I get home and I wake up late. Except I'm actually going and doing the homework. Hmmmmm.

Or I could just be really bored in general. Idk.

So anti_joker my good friend has left to boot camp for the Air Force. I won't see her for two months then I'll see her for like a day in the Spring during her graduation and then she is off to Tech school where she gets to learn an awesome language for like four years and who knows if I'll be able to see her. Hopefully she can log into Meebo or something so we can chat online.

So I had this dream last night where I was in some sort of boot camp. I was put in a cabin thing that looks a lot like a really small hotel room and there was a black sorta monkey that was really cute (and I don't like monkeys) There were about five other girls with me and apparently we ran a lot and wore striped prison outfits (pretty much what the Impel Down prisoners wear), but I wore my heeled boots which supposedly made it easier for me to run. I was really good at the running and eventually I got put into another boot camp or something with the same chicks. It was supposed to be harder or something, but idk. At one point we had to line up in front of this lady/guy (kept changing) who was a total scary mofo and took me and three other boys and shoved some papers in our arms. He/she said, "You take these and pass them out to bhehbhe and another copy to anfvbeve (I don't remember what he/she said) and then the last one I want you to pass out to Marina". I asked who that was and he/she said, "She is the ONE WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY WIFE'S DEATH GHEIFEGHGHEARARGF. Oh wait, nevermind she's been missing from here for a month now". Cue scary face. Then he/she said, "So whoever gets these to them first and back here gets a prize. Now go!". I immediately rushed (with my heeled boots) and jumped down a flight of stairs, ran through tons of hallways and I made it outside where it was snowing for some reason (it was supposed to be summer). I suddenly forgot who he/she said to give the papers to, so I just kinda stood there trying hard to remember, but I couldn't so I rushed back to him/her to ask. I didn't see the other guys anywhere and when I got back he/she wooped with joy and said, "Congradulations! You won! Now you can have anything you want. You can even leave here and go home if you want". I thought about the option of going home, but I suddenly got this urge to stay and that I had something of importance to do here (probably something about the Marina chick or something idk) so I instead asked for a computer with internet.

Then I woke up.

The great Noot at the Fairy Law forum posted this beautiful masterpiece. It gave me tears of joy.

My dear beloved Artemis has been missing for about five? something days. He usually likes to go outside every night and he would come back in the morning meowing at us about his great adventure outside. But one night he got into a fight with Creepers, another cat of ours, and my mom sprayed him with a water bottle and kicked him outside. And of course he didn't come back the next morning. Every night I've been going around the block and other streets looking and calling out for him. By now I've been pretty much everywhere around our neighboorhood and I'm starting to think he either got taken by someone else or the coyotes got him. I'm desperately clinging onto every option other than the coyote one by the fact that he spent all his kittenhood up in the hills underneath a house surrounded by coyotes and managed to survive. That and he's been okay for four years going outside every night. But I don't want to think someone took him either. Then there's pretty much no way of him hearing me calling for him and he might not be able to come back. But if someone did take him then he'd want to go outside there too, he'd run out any chance he got if they let him. Then maybe if I keep calling out for him every night he might be out that night and hear me.

That....or he's plain ignoring me. Which I really doubt because he loves me to death.

Its soo sad, we were buddies! And seriously, if someone did take him and I find out who, I am soo busting down their door and taking my cat back. He's mine damnit! I'm the one who washes oil off of him, lets him sleep on me, feed him when he's crying, drains his infected wounds, cleans up after him, claimed by him by being sprayed on, gave him his bladder medicine, lets him give me awkward kitty hugs when he's clingy, aaaaaaannndd who has casual conversations with him now and again!

>:(

Fucking cat fucking make me care too fucking much. This has really been effecting me lately. Every time I feel happy I get this horrible guilt trip and remind myself that my cat is out there and I haven't doen enough to look for him. Then all my happy is gone.

200 SPECIES EVERY DAY


RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND OR OF ALL TIME. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE FIFTEEN FAVORITE SONGS?

1. Come Sail Away - Styx
2. I'm On A Boat - The Lonely Island
3. Spaceman - The Killers
4. Nico Nico Douga Medley Final Mix
5. Jiz In My Pants - The Lonely Island
6. Sax Man - The Lonely Island
7. Perfect Symmetry - Keanne
8. Viscinity of Obscenity - SOAD
9. Such Great Heights - Postal Service
10. Tower of Learning - Rufus Wainwright
11. Sail On - Masterplan
12. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
13. Mary Lue - Sonata Arctica
14. No World For Tomorrow - Coheed & Cambria
15. Canon Rock - JerryC

Pretty much all these songs will make me squeal and I will force you to play.

We were pirates! :D

We didn't do anything cool though. Blame my bad driving at night syndrome.

We were the Dirty Soap Pirates. I was Captain Soap, anti_joker  was Frank Dirty Johnson, a girl raised as a boy because her father was all ARRGHH VIKINGSZZ!!!11 and my first mate, and incothe was Lady Funkmaster??? I think that's the whole name, a whore who was raised and trained by monks.

It was awesome.

Now I have to write about us fucking up the environment for school.


C|:'D

^^^And that right there is an example of nerdyness.

Ally-wally a.k.a airborn  did this, so I will too. Because I'm bored and upset with myself.


STEP ONE:
Spell your name with songs.

A - Always and Never by Coheed and Cambria
M - Meaning of Life by Disturbed
A - A Horse With No Name by America
N - Nico Douga Medley by Nicovideo peoplez (fuck yes)
D - Dream a Dream by Captain Jack
A - Another One Bites the Dust by Queen

STEP TWO:
– Name: Amanda
– Birth date: 03/11/90
– Nickname: Break (online), Manda (incothe ), Eclair (airborn ), Scooblicon (my dad)
– Eye Color: Greenish-bluish-grayish thing
– Hair Color: Dark brown
– Zodiac Sign: Pisces Sun, Virgo Moon (I bet only three of you know wtf I'm talking about, but eh)

STEP THREE:
– The shoes you wore today: My awesome flat shoes that I forgot the name of with the skulls on them
– Your weakness(es): Video games, One Piece, Kittens, Chilli
– Your fear(s): Worms, tornadoes, escalators, deep ocean
– Your perfect pizza: SOOO MUCH CHEESE AND SOO MUCH PEPPERONI AND SOO MUCH CRUST
– Goal you’d like to achieve: Somehow write/draw Nneka someday/get a doctrine in Psychology

STEP FOUR:
– Your best physical feature? *sigh* My giant knockers
– Your bedtime? When I decide I'm tired
– Most missed memory? I have many, but I guess it was when I used to actually have fun going to my cousin's.

STEP FIVE:
This Or That…
– Pepsi or Coke? I personally like the Pepsi drink better than Coke, but both's okay
– McDonald’s or Burger King: McDonald's fries, and that's pretty much it.
– Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: NIETHER
– Chocolate or Vanilla: Because Alli knows the way, both.
– Cappuccino or coffee: I...cappuccino? I've never had one, but I know I don't like coffee......

STEP SIX:
Do You…
– Curse: Yeeeeeeess
– Sing: Yes. If I'm alone. Then I realize that my voice has completely lost the ability to hit a high note *le sad*
– Dance: No. I do not.
– Take a shower everyday: I try to
– Have a crush: HEE HEE HEE
– Do you think you’ve been in love?: I KNOW I have
– Want to go to college: I'm already in
– Like(d) high school: High school made me clinically depressed. No.
– Want to get married: Yes'm
– Get motion sickness: Never
– Think you’re attractive: Sure, but then I have off days
– Think you’re a health freak: NEVER. JUNK FOOD RULES
– Get along with your parents: They're practically my best friends. Yeah, I'm a freak

STEP SEVEN:
In the past month…
– Gone to the mall: Today I went just to pick up Alli from work
– Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Like five years ago
– Eaten Sushi: No
– Been on stage: No, I have horrible stage fright
– Gone skating: No, I'd fall on my ass and everyone would laugh at me and call me names
– Made homemade cookies: Me? Bake? Pshaaww
– Gone skinny dipping: Lol no
– Stolen anything: Nope

STEP EIGHT:
Ever…
– Played a game that required removal of clothing: ......I think I was part of one when I was a kid, but I really don't know what that was, sooo no
– If so, was it mixed company: It was all girls at some random sleep over where I can't remember who's it was
- Flashed anyone: Not meaning to
– Been beaten up: I've been picked on, not neccessarily beaten.
– Shoplifted: Lol yeah

STEP NINE:
– Age you hope to be married: Sometime between 25 and 40
– Numbers of Children: None plz
– Describe your Dream Wedding: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh

STEP TEN:
In a boyfriend/girlfriend...
– Best eye color?: GREEN
– Best hair color?: I'm silly so I like black, but any color's cool
– Short hair or long hair?: Depends on how it looks on them, but I don't mind either. (I actually think a lot of long-haired guys are hot btw)
– Height: Pffffffffff I'm short so I shouldn't be picky

STEP ELEVEN:
– Number of people I could trust with my life: Six
– Number of CDs that I own: Eh sooo many
– Number of tattoos: None, I might get one though
– Number of piercings: Haha none. Yep that mean the ears as well

Personal Quiz
Who were you with yesterday? airborn and according to her we had a wiiiiiiiiiild night at school.
What woke you up this morning? Uh, hunger?
Where are you? My little corner
Is tomorrow going to be a good day? I hope so.
Do you like anybody? HEE HEE HEE

THE PAST
Ever thrown up in public? Yes? It was phlegm. I'm not sure that counts.
Passed out because of alcohol? Haha no.
What’s on your mind RIGHT NOW? I hate my car's breaks.

THE FUTURE
What kind of home would you like? Uhh.
What do you want to be when you grow up? You mean when I get old? Hopefully a very hardened and wise Psychologist.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Umm, still in school annnd who knows.

IN GENERAL
Do you like candy necklaces? Depends on the candy.
When was the last time you fell over or ran into something? Ten minutes ago.
Do you still go trick or treating? No, but I wish to go out and steal the candy from children this year. Of course no one will let me. I mean, come onnn. I'm gonna be a zombie pirate! I have to steal something!
What was the last thing you ate? Steak and mashed potatoes mmmmmmmm.
What's your favorite type of soda? Dr. Pepper, Root Beer, Sprite
Have you ever moved? Only once when I was like, three.
Have you ever won an award? Sure.
Are you listening to music right now? No, weird.
How long ’till your birthday? About five or six months
When were you the saddest in your whole life? All of 7th to 8th grade then all of 10th to early 11th grade.
What time is it? 10 pm.
Do you use ebay to buy or sell? No.
Who makes you mad: Ignorant people
Ever heard a song written about you: Umm, no. But someone wrote a poem about me like, five years ago.
Something you want to happen in 2010? Eh, not much, just nothing bad.
Summer 2010? What, same shit
Honestly, do you miss 2008? YEEEEESSSSS

HONESTY SECTION
1. Honestly, what color is your underwear? White with a cute purple moon and star on it! :D
2. Honestly, what's on your mind? Finishing this and catching up on anime
3. Honestly, what are you doing right now? This really long meme and remembering when I used to so these things all the time
4. Honestly, have you done something bad today? ............I hit a lamp post......
5. Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone? Alli-wally
6. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? Noooooo
7. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time? Many things. I can't pinpoint anything.
8. Honestly, do you bite your nails? No
9. Honestly, have you had an eating disorder? There are times when I think I do and then I don't. Eh. I'm weird with food.
10. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment? Yes please
11. Honestly, are you keeping a big secret now? No. Soooo amazing.
12. Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like? See, this I don't understand. Who has friends they don't like? Wtf
13. Honestly, what was the last text message you received? I DON'T HAVE TEXT BECAUSE I AM A DOUCHEBAG
14. Honestly, are you in denial? Lol about what?
15. Honestly, do you get up in the middle of the night? No.
16. Honestly, do you like anyone? YOU ALREADY ASKED MEEEEEEEEE THIIISSS
17. Honestly, does anyone like you? Yes :)

RAGE SECTION
1. What do you do when you’re mad? Rant about it to my mom.
2. What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? Nothing. I Just seethe and be all moody in a corner.
3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad? No, I don't get that mad. Lol its usually the other way around.
4. Do you swear when you’re mad? Hahahahaha yes

CRYING SECTION
1. When was the last time you actually cried? A month ago.
2. Ever cried yourself to sleep? Many times through out junior high and early high school.
3. Do certain songs make you cry? YES. I'M LOOKING AT YOU "COME SAIL AWAY WITH ME".
4. What usually makes you cry? When I think I can't do anything right

HAPPY SECTION
1. Are you usually a happy person? Yeah.
2. What makes you the happiest? When the day is great and I have no worries.
3. What song makes you always happy? "Nico Douga Medley" and "Come Sail Away With Me".
4. Do you believe in yourself? No.
5. When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you get happy? Very.

Ha ha ha biscuits.

So I was listening to the Persona Live album earlier that was so awesomely uploaded recently. When I started playing it I instantly heard the beginning seconds of Subeta no Hito Tamashii no Tatakai (the last boss battle music against Nyx Avatar in Persona 3, one of my favorite boss music). And at first it sounded like it normally did, but let me tell you, once the drums and guitar kicked in at 0 : 25 I, for a split second, got a sudden flash of the whole entire game from start to finish and an epic scene of them fighting against Nyx Avatar and I felt a rush of euphoria, admiration and love for that game. If it was possible for someone to have asked what my favorite game was during that split second I would have said P3. But then it was gone and I was just left listening to an awesome live version of one of my favorite video game songs.

 

Fucking greatest split second of my entire life.

 

Lol after listening and comparing to how they treated the P3 songs against the P4 songs, it really stands out how much they love P3 more. I mean, they didn't even play I'll Face Myself -Battle- (the normal boss music for P4) which is just absolute blasphemy. And they didn't play any of the P4 dungeon music. I would have loved to listen to Adachi's. Burn My Dread, Mass Destruction, Burn My Dread -Last Battle-, and Sake Rare Nu Tatakai (song played when fighting Strega, Elizabeth, and a very spoilery fight for anti_joker in The Answer) were just epic though. Its rather sad, P3 has itself, FES/The Answer, that anime sequel, one Aigis cell phone game, some other miscellaneous little games, all those sound dramas (I don't remember there being any for P4) and now P3P. P4 just has....P4. Although, that doesn't really bug me, since I like P3 more than P4. Why, I'm still waiting for Aigis to pop up at my door to inspect my house for any shadows. Much like a termite inspector would.

Shit, my screen just died out a few minutes ago. I managed to get it on again without having to restart my comp. well, I guess this means I have to get a new screen along with a new computer.

Why hello there manly Maenie. You are awesome on my desktop.

I WANT THIS SOO BAD IT NEEDS NO EXPLANATION.

It would be pretty funny if it turned out to be my very first PoP, but seriously that thing is awesome. And I don't care that her boa thing looks like raw fish. And I would enjoy my parent's expressions.


www.play-asia.com/paOS-13-71-8x-49-en-15-One+Piece-70-3ldm.html

OMG PERONA WAS SOOO ADORABLE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

And Brook was awesome of course.

Watching Tokyo Maginitude 8.0 has made me re-realize my fear of tornadoes. And that makes no fucking sense since the show is about earthquakes. But eh, tornadoes are fucking scary mofos. I can still remember the terror of ninth grade science and the horror of those tornado videos they would make us watch on what were like 22 inch screens 15 feet away (and that's really something to me now, since I have a silly 52 inch flatscreen). And that's all the real experience I've ever had with one. But their presence just strikes total fear into me and well, I guess that makes sense. Considering they can demolish giant buildings and pick up trucks weighing a certian number of tons like they were paper and then proceed to chuck them into other poor giant buildings. And other stuff.

Earthquakes don't bother me all that much for some reason. The last really big one we had was in 1994 so that made me 4 years old and I slept through the whole damn thing.

So yeah, must add tornadoes to the list of things that terrify me. Along with worms, the deep ocean, Salad Fingers, Kefka, escalators, and an assortment of insects.

Although I find myself being able to handle many grotesque and scary things. I don't remember the last horror movie that really scared me and images of women rolling in fecal matter and goatsee don't really bother me at all. I just go, "......ew, that's gross". With this deadpan look and all.


Hhhhhmmmmmm.

I'm more wordy than usual. What's up with this?

Got this from anti_joker

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Striding through the hotel lobby, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a studded crowbar, cometh Break4angels! And she gives an ominous cry: "Ares, God of War, be praised! I plunder like a mad dog who can only get madder!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Who is that, stalking through the fields! It is Amanda, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! And with a cruel cry, her voice cometh: "I'm seriously going to smash you in such an unsafe manner, your blood will flow counter-clockwise!!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

THIS WAS SOO HORRIFYING. NEVER. NEVER AGAIN. MY EYES ARE BARFING UP BLOOOOOOOOOOOD.

Avast! Today be Talk Like a Pirate Day! Arrr, me have always forgotten this holiday. But I have not forgotten this time. Arrr, me figured I might as well update my journal with somethin', since its a long time since me have updated it. Now that I'm writin', I realize that me have no idea on what t' write about. Nothin' new has verily happened.

Arrr, this all reminds me. I need t' get stuff for my pirate costume for Halloween. Aye.

Avast! I shall make up for no subject in this post with an awesome fanart o' the Rumbar pirates. Arr, that should make up for it.



"Yo-hohoho, Yohohohoo. Yo-hohoho, Yohohohoo..."

I'm on a Sonata Arctica binge right now. Soooo um. Yeah.


If I only had her heeeeeaaaarrrrrrrrt!!!


That line has been stuck in my head all day and no matter how many other songs I listened to it still stayed. Pisses me off.

Stole this from anti_joker  since, well...it says I must do it.

Rules—
01. Anyone who looks at this entry has to post this meme and their current wallpaper on their LiveJournal.
02. Explain in five sentences why you're using that wallpaper!
03. Don't change your wallpaper before doing this! The point is to see what you had on!



1. I was getting bored of having One Piece, Persona, and Terra pictures as my usual background.
2. I'm playing FF VI for the hundreth time again and am at the part where Kefka poison's Doma, which is one of my most favorite parts of the game. Cyan FTW.
3. Kefka's english Dissidia voice equals love.
4. Its an awesome fan art.
5. After watching English Dissidia on Youtube, playing FF VI, and looking at many horrifying (EXTREMELY GROSS AND HORRIBLE) fan art of him, I am reminded that he is the one fictional character that scares and disgusts me the most. So I put him as my desktop. Just to keep horrifying myself even more. And this is the most epic NON-horrifying fan art that I could find that would fit my giant desktop. Oh and ignore the wrong time and date. My computer thinks its European.

I know soo many people have probably already ranted about it and its been a while since I found out, but.......I just can't stop thinking about it.

WTF P3P. WTF.